I Am Lacking A Better Title
by Lugian Before Swine
Summary: I dunno...well, it's sorta like Artemis and Holly are dumped off in a public middle school. Yeah, that's it.
1. We Get Plopped Into This Place?

**A/N: So maybe this isn't the fic I promised you, but...I hope you still like it...**

**Disclaimer: Because nobody knows who owns Artemis Fowl...well, it certainly isn't me. **

**Title:** **I Am Lacking A Better Title**

**Chapter 1: We Get Plopped Into This Place?**

So, as everyone knows, I have to stick Artemis and Holly together...

"No you don't! Let me be for once!"

No Holly, I will not let you be. Anyway...

"You really shouldn't be wasting your time on this."

Artemis, how could you? I've always thought you loved being in Fanfics!

"You thought wrong."

Ah.

Anyways, I am now going to drop both of you off in a public school. Bye-bye, darlings!

"No!"

- - - - -

"So, Holly, we were plopped here. No kidding," said Artemis.

"Yeah. That author girl is insane," replied Holly.

My cackling fills the school. It then disappears.

So, what do you propose we do?" asked Artemis.

Just then, the bell rings. A ton of seventh graders pile out of the room nearest to Holly and Artemis.

"Artemis! They're gonna squish me!" yelled Holly, backing into a small, one-way hallway.

Artemis followed her, but a bunch of eighth graders came stampeding out of one of two rooms in the hallway.

"Eeeekkk!" shrieked Holly, and began to run. The principal rounded the corner just then.

"Who the heck are you!" he shouted, and he grabbed them by their shirt collars and dragged them to the office.

Once they had gotten in, he told them to go to the planning room and talk to the appropriate counselor.

"What?" they both asked at the same time, but the principal asked, "What are your last names?"

"Fowl," said Artemis.

"Short," said Holly.

"Fowl, you see Mrs. B., Short, you see Mrs P.," said the principal, and shoved them into a very small room.

**I know, it's short! I'm sorry! I promise there will be more next time. Seeya!**

**The Insane Lugian**

**PS: Don't forget to review! It helps me a lot!**


	2. Le Planning Room and Wandering the Halls

**A/N: Yay! The next chappie:) Okay, and now some clarification. When there are no quotation marks around words, but it seems like someone is speaking, that is me. When there are quotation marks around words, that is a character speaking. Is it all cleared up now? Good. XD**

**Disclaimer: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I OWN THESE CHARACTERS! WHY, EOIN COLFER DOES, OF COURSE!**

**Title: I Am Lacking A Better Title**

**Chapter 2: The Planning Room and Wandering the Halls**

**And now we may begin.**

Artemis and Holly were shoved into a very small room. There was hardly enough room to breathe.

A tall woman with long, brown hair walked up to them. "Been sent to the planning room so early in the year? Wow. Well, where are your hall passes? Passing time is over, you know."

"Hall passes? Planning room? Passing time?" thought Artemis. "What is all this stuff?"

"Do you have a hall pass?" asked the woman again.

Holly decided to take the first step. "We were randomly plopped into this school and the principal shoved us in here."

"Mr. S. **((For the sake of keeping his last name off the internet))** just shoved you in here? How rude of him."

"Yes, it was quite rude," complained Artemis. "I honestlydon't know what we're doing in here, but I was told to see Mrs. B. and she was told to see Mrs. P.," he explained.

"Well, I'm Mrs. B., and Mrs. P. isn't here today. Gosh, the man can't even keep track of his own teachers," she mumbled. "So, you say you were randomly plopped into this school? Hmmm..."

"Yes," Holly and Artemis said in unison.

"Well, I guess I'll tell you how to get out then..." sighed Mrs. B."When you walk out the door, go your right. Then walk a little bit and take a left. You'll be outside."

"Thank you so much," said Holly, and Artemis nodded.

Holly and Artemis exited the planning room.

"So we turn left first, right?" Holly asked.

"Sure," said Artemis. "I think that's what she said."

Oh no, my pretties, oh no...

- - - - -

Holly and Artemis turned left. After walking down a hallway and finding themselves at the end of it, they turned right. They had gotten the directions mixed up.

As they walked down the new hallway, two people sat talking outside a door. A student and a teacher. The kid was in trouble.

"Why did you hit him?" the teacher asked. Holly and Artemis decided to keep walking. They came to the end of the hallway. No doors in sight.

So they walked down the next hallway. And the next. They went passed Mrs. C.'s room before coming upon the library. Artemis gravitated toward the doors, and they entered quietly.

Mrs. L., the librarian, was sitting at her desk reading a book.She couldn't see Holly and Artemis as they snuck out the other entrance of the library.

"_Now_ where?" shouted Holly in frustration, because they'd found themselves even more lost than before.

"I don't know; let's just keep walking," suggested Artemis. And that's exactly what they did.They passed Mrs. E.'s room and the two computer labs before the bell rang. Hundreds of students filed out of almost all the classrooms. The period had ended. Holly and Artemis were doomed.

**Hmm, do you like it? Review please, and know that I'm always open to suggestions! Thank you so much!**

**The Insane Lugian**


	3. Antelope Technique and Other Stuff

**A/N: Did you miss me? Well, even if you didn't, I have returned! Muahahahaha! Anyways, if anyone has any suggestions on what I can call this story, please tell me in a review! I am still lacking a better title, hehehe.**

**Disclaimer: Honestly, people, honestly. ((Shakes head sadly))**

**I Am Lacking A Better Title**

**Chapter 3: Antelope Technique and Other Stuff**

"STAMPEDE!" shouted Holly, while she and Artemis ran frantically down the hallway.

Suddenly, Artemis and Holly saw...my friend and I walking through a current of people up the hallway!

"Antelope Technique!" My friend and I shouted in unison, proceeding to stand completely still.

The angry mob parted. My friend and I stood still in the hallway, not getting trampled, stampeded, shuffled, or the like.

Artemis and Holly copied our move, and everyone parted around them. It was a miracle. Not a single one of us was squashed to death.

It was then that my friend left for her next class, and I noticed Artemis and Holly in the hallway.

"Took a wrong turn?" I asked.

Artemis said, "I suppose so," and Holly nodded her head.

"Would you like to know how to get out?" I asked, a smile creeping up my face.

"Yes!" they shouted in unison.

"I will show you the doors...for a price," I snickered.

"Anything to be free of this place!" shouted Holly.

"Okay, then, you. My price is..."

"Yes...?"

"You must snog each other. Fifteen seconds. Timed," I said, looking at my Happy Bunny watch.

"..." said Artemis.

"..." said Holly.

"Well, you going to or not? You'll be trapped in here for quite a while if you don't," I said, grinning a huge, sort-of cheesy grin.

"Well..." said Artemis.

"Urm..." said Holly.

They both shifted uncomfortably.

"I suppose..." started Holly.

"We have to," finished Artemis.

I rubbed my hands together with sheer joy and set fifteen seconds on my watch timer.

"If either of you breaks the kiss before I say to, you'll be held hostage at my house," I said.

Holly had had enough of being a hostage, and Artemis obviously didn't want to be one either.

"Ready...set...oops, I'm gonna be late for science...GO!" I screamed.

For being forced, it was an awfully passionate kiss and let's not get into gory detail before you all pass out of gory detail syndrome.

"And...time," I said as my watch blipped. I shut off the timer.

"Time."

"TIME, YOU CRAZED LOVEBIRDS!" I screamed.

"Oh," said Holly. "Hmm, well, didn't hear you I suppose..."

"Oh, crud, what's happened to poor Arty?" I shouted.

Artemis lay sprawled on the floor with his eyes closed, panting heavily.

"Umm..." said Holly.

"Oh well," I said. "I'll show you the way out."

Holly followed after me, leaving Artemis on the floor to be run over. Oh well.

**END**

**Did you like it, people?**

**Artemis: I'm gonna get run over!**

**Me: Your point?**

**Artemis: And you say you love me!**

**Me: Shut up, you.**

**Artemis: You can't talk to me like that!**

**Me: I SAID SHUT UP, YOU!**

**Artemis: Got it. Going to shut up now. Yes ma'am.**

**Me: Good.**

**Anyway, that's the end! It was short but sweet, I hope! Review and have a wonderful day!**

**The Insane Lugian**


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